That Moment of Clarity

The other night, after the Cranston Cup grand final (which was excellent by the way, congrats to all the players) I was talking to a friend of mine about my job, which is Art Department runner on a TV show. And she asked if it was the set-up for my future career. I immediately said no.

When I've been asked in the past I always add these caveats and conditions to that answer (which I did add later), like how it's in the right industry, I actually do enjoy the work and if I ended up being art department for the next 20 years I feel I would have a great career. However this time, in the heat of conversation, it was a snap no, this is not what I want to be doing for my life. Part of that is probably a little bit of frustration at this particular jobs annoyances, but mostly it's because I'm finally willing to admit my passions to myself. I want to be a performer/writer/director whatever. I want to be a creative.

It's a struggle to juggle ego with self doubt, but it's time to realise what my strengths and weaknesses are. And it's time to start embracing those strengths rather than wallowing in the weaknesses.